本来想删掉8月31号发表的那篇日志，后来一琢磨，我干嘛要删掉，底下还有那么多留言做实证呢呵呵。。两三天了，我是得总结总结了，省的大家看人看走眼。。

别跟我说什么本命年这种宿命理论，不好使，面对事实什么借口都是荒诞。也懒得点名道姓，她，一个多么“聪明伶俐”“清纯可爱”“善解人意”的好女孩，能做出如此纯粹的背叛。。这段时间，我一直都在被蒙蔽，或者说所有人都在被蒙蔽。。星期一晚上，她不面对我，让身边的所谓前男友跟我在Q上通告这荒谬的事情，我又不是傻子，呵呵，说话的方式也想蒙蔽我？！最后让我打电话，当然打了，当然是那男的先说话，上来第一句，也不知道是自以为自己说话很绅士还是怎么着，镇定地说：“我们原来就在一起，我们已经发生过XX了”。。打出这句话我都觉得恶心。。咱在湖北汽车工业学院住了18年，也不能说汽院的学生不好，但是各路货色还是应有尽有的，他这什么话语，后面说的我都懒得讲，还说什么公平竞争，ridiculous，我跟他竞争？比赛级别是不是低了点。。还是听到她本人的声音了，别说，怎么听怎么楚楚可怜，向来如此，听过的人都了解，也没说出什么所以然，个人感觉呗，自私呗，对不起呗。。我还真是挺心疼我情急之下用手机打的国际长途话费的，也罢，我也做到诚恳，还好对方手机没电了。。而且我呢，恰好要出门，去哪呢，一个很好的餐馆，我们组欢迎来访人士聚餐，你说说我咋么个心情，还不是得强颜欢笑。。本着我最好的朋友身上我最佩服的优点，我争取不要让自己的心情影响别人，少说话多喝红酒呗，只可惜演技不佳，还是让我们组善于观察的一位大姐发现了我的不对劲，还是让我说出了一个小时前的事情。。我嘛也就笑一笑说了，大家cheers，我还好呵呵。。

认真加信任，多简单的道理，我把我自己没有退路地铺在她的路上。。在别人眼中，起初我被认为是待证明的，我接受了；我最在乎的朋友相信她都大于相信我，跟她说我的不是，我接受了；一位最好的知己，其实完全没有必要在乎我的人，搭上自己的信誉证明我的坚定和决心，我感激不尽；不只一个至交好友告诉我，这女生很难得，要认真，我都记下也开始实现了。。这些人，都是她认识的人，什么叫认真二字，我有退路吗，我把我家中最亲的人，朋友里最重要的人都作为我要证明自己的对象，她是聪明人，她也知道。。我们在一起，哪里来的不是祝福声，我愿意忍受一些风凉话，因为我不care小人讲的话，没那个必要。。什么样的两人能走得长远，我想总是有点原理在里面的吧，对我们来说，只剩下这一段开头那五个字了，五个她曾经反过来让我放心的字！

聪明一世的人容易糊涂一时，聪明反被聪明误屡见不鲜，所以我害怕聪明，尽量避免自己犯错，然而需要过程，我也经历了，开始懂了，现在的我能定位自己，开始做人生道路上负责任的抉择。。所以她比我小一岁，看样子是还需要时间吧，呵呵，要是比我聪明应该用不着比我长，糊涂不可怕，怕的是在大事上糊涂，幼稚也不可怕，怕的是幼稚的思想让目光变得狭隘。。

大家多是独生子女，都会多多少少自我中心，包括我，不过，自私是有条件的，道德是有底线的，诚信，是作为一个文明人更不可或缺的东西。。这么沉重的现实打击在我身上，我只愿意为更多人提前承受，希望少点这种八点档播出来都夸张的现实。。

事情开始时的三个目击者。。因为错误地认识一个人而客观评论我的他，我会记住那些话，他更加是我今生最好最重要的朋友；为了我搭上自己的信誉的她，我会从此铭记，她是最好的知己；还有一位从儿时就认识的总是被我损的她，我才知道她是从一开始就担心我被欺骗从而唯一为我着想的人，二十年的交情的确是值得信赖的。。

最后，套用8月31号的引用吧。。

You know that we've spend so much of our lives, not saying the things we want to say, the things we should say. We speak in code. We send little messages. So now, plainly, simply, I want to say that I thank you, all of you who support me...

Perhaps you know that there was a movie '21' more than one year ago. It is sort of interesting to put on a number as title, so that using my age should be reasonable. 24 years old, actually alomost, ox year again in our lunar calendar, is supposed to be important for me, and now I think it is, and even abnormal. Before I turned up to this ox year, I got a PhD position as I hoped and as my family hoped. Well, this is kind of natural although life always has the tendency to put us into trouble. I lost, a lot, during the last two years, especially emotional, which is perhaps due to the 8000 kilometers distance and the cluster of feeling that home can never be that precious. From my childhood, I started losing things that I supposed to have. I am lucky to obtain something complementary however I could not stop myself from keeping on losing. One certainly loses things but for a perfectionist it would be much more difficult to prevent suffering from losing. I confess, that I lay my force of moving forward on sensation. Nevertheless when I started earning my salary, living on myself, fighting silently for my future, the sensation changed. For others, I was still the one as before and even better, but for me, I was essentially different without so much that I was supposed to cherish.

    Once I thought that I found the way out which can even lead me forward. But reality finally proved that I was totally, definitely, absolutely wrong. That is a lesson, which I paid for, spending too much. I even feel that I am that lucky to be able to cancel it. Luck, a word that has been away from me for a long time, finally came again, and told me that the tuition or the premium I paid is more than worthwhile.

    Thanks to everything, I met you, the one and the only one that I trust from the bottom of my soul. How can there be such a person we match so well that life is going to be absolutely incredibly perfect. Once people asked me about happiness, and I always replied what they meant by happiness. Now happiness for me is simple and clear. You are the one, with of course a different gender, 388 days younger than me, but with super plenty of similarity. We share ideas, enjoy time, live for our future. This is the first time that I feel kind of success for myself being a man alive for more than two decades. One can never be completely successful, neither can I. But from now on, I have life, which is absolutely the most important success that one can achieve. Honey, thank you for everything.

    You are better at English than me, definitely, therefore please allow me to utilize some words from somewhere in this paragraph. You know that we've spend so much of our lives, not saying the things we want to say, the things we should say. We speak in code. We send little messages. So now, plainly, simply, I want to say that I love you, very much.