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8月30日

24

Perhaps you know that there was a movie '21' more than one year ago. It is sort of interesting to put on a number as title, so that using my age should be reasonable. 24 years old, actually alomost, ox year again in our lunar calendar, is supposed to be important for me, and now I think it is, and even abnormal. Before I turned up to this ox year, I got a PhD position as I hoped and as my family hoped. Well, this is kind of natural although life always has the tendency to put us into trouble. I lost, a lot, during the last two years, especially emotional, which is perhaps due to the 8000 kilometers distance and the cluster of feeling that home can never be that precious. From my childhood, I started losing things that I supposed to have. I am lucky to obtain something complementary however I could not stop myself from keeping on losing. One certainly loses things but for a perfectionist it would be much more difficult to prevent suffering from losing. I confess, that I lay my force of moving forward on sensation. Nevertheless when I started earning my salary, living on myself, fighting silently for my future, the sensation changed. For others, I was still the one as before and even better, but for me, I was essentially different without so much that I was supposed to cherish.

    Once I thought that I found the way out which can even lead me forward. But reality finally proved that I was totally, definitely, absolutely wrong. That is a lesson, which I paid for, spending too much. I even feel that I am that lucky to be able to cancel it. Luck, a word that has been away from me for a long time, finally came again, and told me that the tuition or the premium I paid is more than worthwhile.

    Thanks to everything, I met you, the one and the only one that I trust from the bottom of my soul. How can there be such a person we match so well that life is going to be absolutely incredibly perfect. Once people asked me about happiness, and I always replied what they meant by happiness. Now happiness for me is simple and clear. You are the one, with of course a different gender, 388 days younger than me, but with super plenty of similarity. We share ideas, enjoy time, live for our future. This is the first time that I feel kind of success for myself being a man alive for more than two decades. One can never be completely successful, neither can I. But from now on, I have life, which is absolutely the most important success that one can achieve. Honey, thank you for everything.

    You are better at English than me, definitely, therefore please allow me to utilize some words from somewhere in this paragraph. You know that we've spend so much of our lives, not saying the things we want to say, the things we should say. We speak in code. We send little messages. So now, plainly, simply, I want to say that I love you, very much.

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兰文婷发表:
我天!受不了了,看着满屏的英文字母,我坚信我这辈子不能写出这样的文字
继续不明所以然。。。
9 月 1 日

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